You Need Help: What if that Wasn’t a Bad Thing?

by: Dr. Michael A. WrightIn Coaching Diary

In the journey of personal development and success, we often rely on figures of guidance and help to steer us through various stages in life. In this context, three main types of professionals come into play in this transformative journey – a counselor, a mentor, and a coach. These individuals play distinct roles in helping […]

Self-Image: Constructing through the Social Pressures in the Crucial Areas

by: Dr. Michael A. WrightIn Coaching Diary
CULTURE

Reclaiming strategy: Use guilt as a motivator, convert to inspiration; refuse shame; measure success by personal standards of freedom.

FAMILY

Reclaiming strategy: Choose supportive and uplifting friends; recognize and challenge negative influences; cultivate self-compassion.

FRIENDS

Reclaiming strategy: Choose supportive and uplifting friends; recognize relationships of positive competition and mutual inspiration; cultivate self-compassion.

EXPERIENCES

Reclaiming strategy: Reflect on experiences, identify patterns; use experiences as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

TRAUMA

Reclaiming strategy: Seek professional help; practice self-care and self-compassion; surround yourself with supportive people.

If you desire to work on your self-image, you will be outlining work in 3 areas: physical appearance, personality, and character. Your self-image is influenced by various factors such as culture, family, friends, and personal experiences including trauma. You will want to address each of your interpretations from these to reclaim your authority and autonomy as you intentionally address the areas of self-image. Do that first. Then, your work will not be sabotaged by triggers from outside influences.

Addressing the Outside Influences

Culture refers to the norms, values, and beliefs of the group you take direction from whether you have adopted and practice their views or not. The issue is the pressure you feel to perform or the energy you extend to resist their influence. Reclaim your energy by reframing your role as a teacher of openness and creativity. This allows you to be the voice of explanation through your continued living. No need to preach or explain. Communicate through your consistent being.

Reclaiming strategy: Use guilt as a motivator, convert to inspiration; refuse shame; measure success by personal standards of freedom.

Family are those who connect through blood or long-term relationships. Typically, our expectations of self and achievement come from these foundations. These expectations can be the source of guilt and shame when they are not met. They can also be determinants of our success measures. Reclaim by using guilt as a motivator slowly converting it to inspiration—the well of joy living your passion each day. Refuse shame which develops when guilt is not addressed proactively. Measure your success by your own standards of freedom.

Reclaiming strategy: Choose supportive and uplifting friends; recognize and challenge negative influences; cultivate self-compassion.

Friends are those who support you, challenge you, and show you what compassion and drive look like in practice. Friends are models often within your age range. They show you the results in real-time of the choice options available. “Birds of a feather flock together” is a common adage with merit. Yet, rather than interpreting it as an observation. Consider it an attraction. Determine what you want in your life and manifest by engaging with people who speak about, think about, and be about that vision. Additionally, find those that support and uplift you to be your best. If they can encourage you when you are down, that’s a bonus. Establish relationships of positive competition always able to inspire each other by your successes and contribute to each with financial, relationship, information, and time resources. Give yourself the same grace you give your friends patterning after the grace they give you.

Reclaiming strategy: Choose supportive and uplifting friends; recognize relationships of positive competition and mutual inspiration; cultivate self-compassion.

Experiences refer to the daily occurrences of life, generally, not good or bad. A review of your personal experience is to review what you are paying attention to in your life. If you are like most of us, you pay attention to what matters to us, what entertains us, or what we are working on. This can create a myopia or a limited view of the world that limits our sense of ability and capacity for innovation. Reclaim an expanded perspective that orders the vast information of the world around by the vision you have for your life. Remain open to opportunities refusing overwhelm by identifying categories and patterns that inform your predictions. Identify lessons to learn for your personal growth and continuous learning.

Reclaiming strategy: Reflect on experiences, identify patterns; use experiences as opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

Trauma can have a profound impact on an individual’s self-image and self-worth. Experiencing traumatic events may lead to feelings of helplessness, vulnerability, and a distorted perception of oneself. You may have internalized negative and destructive messages about yourself that challenge your self-compassion and the grace you must give yourself. Rebuild self-image after trauma by first seeking professional help. Find someone with the skills and personal fit to guide you through your healing process. Practice self-care and cultivate self-compassion—speaking to yourself with love, encouragement, and care. Surrounding yourself with supportive people can also aid in the healing process, role modeling their own progressing healing journey.

Reclaiming strategy: Seek professional help; practice self-care and self-compassion; surround yourself with supportive people.

Physical Appearance. Feeling comfortable and confident in your appearance is a crucial component of self-image. Center on sensations. Feeling good is tight (form-fitting), strong, flexible, bright, crisp, and clean.  Tailor your clothing to provide these sensations for occasions. This is what is meant by identifying your personal style.

Healthy habits and self-care in this context center upon hygiene and recreation. In this way, consider that exercising is not focused on aerobic activity, but the mental release of toxicity and the physical release of toxicity in the exercise and the shower afterward. The activity is a means of addressing health and self-care. Identify other activities that offer the same dual impact even if they are a sequence of events. For example, health and self-care could result from the sequence of budgeting, bill paying, shopping, trying on clothes, and going out on the town.

Improvement strategy: Identify and enhance personal style; practice good hygiene and grooming; engage in regular exercise and balanced nutrition. Also, look for sequences that support your health and joy.

Personality. The Personality area of self-image work focuses on understanding and embracing one’s unique traits and characteristics. It is essential to recognize that you own a distinct personality, which contributes to identity and behavior. Developing self-awareness and self-reflection skills helps to identify personal strengths and areas for growth. Personality exploration moves you closer to accepting and appreciating yourself, which leads to a healthier self-image.

 

Developing social skills and emotional intelligence is another crucial aspect of working on personality. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s emotions and those of others. It plays a vital role in building healthy relationships, communicating effectively, and navigating various social situations. Improving emotional intelligence can positively impact self-image by enhancing self-confidence and interpersonal skills.

To work on personality, seek feedback from trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide valuable insights into your strengths and weaknesses. This feedback can help identify areas for improvement and facilitate personal growth. It is essential to approach this process with an open mind and a willingness to learn and change.

Moreover, focusing on areas for growth and actively working to improve them can lead to a more well-rounded and resilient personality. For example, if you struggle with assertiveness, practice assertive communication techniques, or attend workshops to develop this skill. By addressing these areas for growth, you can enhance your self-image and feel more confident in your abilities.

Improvement strategy: Self-reflection and self-awareness developing social skills and emotional intelligence; seek feedback from trusted friends or professionals; work on areas for growth.

Character. The Character area of self-image work involves examining and developing your core values, morals, and ethics. It is the foundation upon which to build identity and navigate life. By defining and aligning with personal values and beliefs, individuals can develop a strong sense of self and a positive self-image. Integrity, resilience, empathy are three critical character traits to cultivate.

Developing integrity is a crucial aspect of working on character. Integrity involves being honest, responsible, and consistent in one’s actions and decisions. By practicing integrity, individuals can feel more confident in their choices and build trust with others, further enhancing their self-image.

Resilience is another essential character trait that can significantly impact self-image. Resilient individuals can adapt to challenges, recover from setbacks, and maintain a positive outlook on life. Cultivating resilience involves developing coping strategies, learning from past experiences, and fostering a growth mindset. By becoming more resilient, individuals can improve their self-image and feel more empowered in the face of adversity.

Empathy is a vital component of character development, as it enables individuals to understand and connect with others on a deeper level. Developing empathy involves actively listening, being non-judgmental, and putting oneself in another’s shoes. By cultivating empathy, individuals can enhance their relationships, foster compassion, and create a more positive self-image.

Reflect on your actions and decisions to ensure they align with your core principles. Practice consistency between your values and actions and strive to cultivate empathy and understanding for others. By focusing on this congruency, you create a strong foundation for a positive self-image and a fulfilling life. The process requires introspection, commitment to personal growth, and a willingness to learn from experiences and others.

Improvement strategy: Define personal values and beliefs incorporating integrity, resilience, and empathy; practice consistency between actions and values.

MAWMonday Motivators 07/16/2017

by: Dr. Michael A. WrightIn Blog, Coaching DiaryTagged , , , ,

What Kindness Are You Giving Yourself? Kindness, possibility, and authenticity. These are the focus this week. Kindness shared freely with the world and even those who seemingly don’t deserve it. But, also kindness to yourself. To speak kind words that nudge you out of a shell of regret, failure, and uncertainty. Kindness is the beginning […]

MAWMonday Motivators 07/09/2017

by: Dr. Michael A. WrightIn Blog, Coaching DiaryTagged , , , , , , ,

Process, Your Progress & Canaries in Coal Mines This week’s inspiration is in process and progress. Revere the process with greater esteem than you have been. Accept progress as simply as you allow the inhale and exhale of breath. That feeling of stretch is the process. You are going to emerge stronger and live your […]

MAWMonday Motivators 06/25/2017

by: Dr. Michael A. WrightIn Blog, Coaching Diary

An Honest Global Solution This week’s motivation begins with a tweet by Gina Humber. Delivered with no photo, animation, fanfare, or ritual, it makes a simple request and asks a simple question. Request: be honest with yourself. Question: are you prepared be part of the global solution. If you have been near me for any […]