MAWMonday Motivators 07/17/2016

improve-communicationsI have some questions for you this week. In the frustration and energy expenditure of searching for a new home, I was struck by the challenge we all face. How intent are you on building? Or, do you simply expect to “find” your joy? Many areas of life are about expecting new, pristine, and ready positions to occupy. But, it seems that the best of life’s areas require the patience, planning, and perseverance to build. Don’t let your lack of knowledge about the building process limit you to positions that inadequately house what really matters.
#MAWMondayMotivators on Tuesday! I had to take a day to listen. Twitter will forgive me.

1. Listen & Learn
How often do we listen to understand?

It’s probably the most irritating phrase for any client to offer, “I know…” When it is said as a closed-ended statement, I gird myself for what I do best: Challenge strongly-held assumptions. Listening to understand, listening to learn requires that you suspend the certainty and solidity of what you KNOW, and experience the lesson that is being presented. A new perspective, coupled with a new context can make knowledge obsolete. If you are unable to listen, you are unable to respond to the current context with action that promotes the best outcome. Examine the lesson. Also, examine what you feel you already know. Each can be used to build the other.

2. Communicate Intentionally
What do you communicate non-verbally?

Every since high school, I have always been fascinated with those who would turn up their nose, ignore, or belittle others as a cover for their own insecurities. If they only knew that my job is not to judge you for comparison, it is to judge US for collaboration. It may be that we are not a pair that can work together. But, to refuse the opportunity to make the judgement seems immature. I am always floored to see the self-protection of adults in social situations. It directly relates to fear of public speaking. Many don’t realize that while they feel the pressure to perform, most people in the audience feel that same pressure focusing on themselves rather than the speaker. Just express love. You will always receive a true answer, either an invitation or a confirmation.

3. Listen Intentionally
What are you listening to?

Practice positive self-talk. Love yourself. And, surround yourself with voices that feed that behavior. You must listen to succeed, but you don’t have to listen to everything. You should not listen to negative and “not” language. Consider that “not wanting to be hurt” doesn’t communicate how you want to feel joy, be appreciated, express love. Require your circle and communication to be affirmative and positive. Continue to rehearse statements about what you WANT instead of what you fear. You will experience the one that you dwell upon the most.

4. Build with Gratitude
What are you building?

Be grateful. Build from there. Recognize the tools, context, relationships, and capital you have at this moment. Place those within the context of your desires. This reflection provides a solid foundation for planning. That’s really what gratitude does. It clears out the fears and obstacles while simultaneously placing your resources in the proper perspective. Gratitude clearly identifies the assets and capability you have available to you. Build your awesomeness. Build a legacy.

5. Enjoy What Matters
Are you building on what matters?

One of my favorite artists discusses the grand deception in a song entitled “For Now.” Locksmith highlights the expectations that cause you stress conceptualized within the process presented to all of us: School. Job. Marriage. Home. In the chorus he says, “Find Me!” calling to each of us to find ourselves. We have all been bamboozled (at least many of us have). Change the process by asking yourself the question of what really matters. Refuse the “school, job, marriage, home, debt” for something to lose second-guessing. Build a new process. Dream, Risk, Learn, Fail, Learn, Live, counting it all as loss yet enjoying every second. Look around you. Search yourself. If you could only have three things, what would they be. Start there, and build on what really matters.