MAWMonday Motivators 07/30/2017

by: Dr. Michael A. Wright In Blog, Coaching DiaryTagged , , , , , , , ,

Be Convinced that You Will Overcome

You are an overcomer. But, I know what it is like to question that reality much less cultivate that feeling. As much positivity as you promote and negative energy you refuse, life can be simply tough. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. Nothing wonderful lasts without the payment of some price. Yet, that is where you find the key to your reality as an overcomer. The price. The cost is your full attention. You have to pay full attention to what is going on in your life. Too many focus on the set backs, the questions, the resets, and the rejections sprinkled among the resolve, the small successes, the call backs, and the positives. Both are apparent. Pay attention to both. Viewing the whole picture of what has been is one thing. Take a view of the whole picture of what will be as well. You will be convinced that no negative thing will keep you from the experience of love, joy, and peace.

I enlist Twitter again this week to remind you that there is always fear. You may even be afraid. But, never forget that you are an overcomer. The pressure will only make you into a diamond.

1. Create Meaning

Life is tough. I know you can think of a sunny reality in which you receive everything you have ever dreamed of on a silver platter. We often think about the lottery as our example. More money than we could possibly know what to do with. We talk about buying the things we want and going the places we desire. We talk about walking into every situation with the knowledge that we can afford the best.

Continue the thought, and you inevitably get to the point when you have purchased, traveled, and owned every situation you can think of. You are left to figure out what your legacy will be. You are challenged to organize the financial management discipline and team that will appropriate your money for the greatest return. You no longer clean your home, garden, cook, or wonder about wardrobe. But, you must manage the managers that provide maid service, gardening, chef, and tailor services. In other words, you’re exactly where you are today except with more money.

The part about life being tough is where all the meaning resides. You will always have the question of meaning whispering in your ear. You may as well answer it actively and intentionally now. Don’t wait for the silver platter. Serve it up on that dollar-store plate without delay.

2. Break through Obstacles

What do you think your obstacles are? You can gauge your emotional maturity by how closely you allow the answer to get. It’s a bell curve. Most people will cite money, time, people, or information as their obstacle. On the far-from-me end, a few will cite the system and an oppressive history as their greatest obstacle. The reality is that the only obstacle is You. Your access and utilization of money, time, people, and information to access the system and address an oppressive history, that’s the obstacle. The sooner you get started with chipping away, the sooner the barrier is diminished. The sooner you develop power tools and earth movers, the sooner the barrier is demolished. Get moving by discovering your center and the motivation that can grow from there. Change your question from an identification of obstacles to a focus on equipping and tools.

3. Be Afraid, But Don’t Shrink

Anything outside of your comfort zone is going to be anxiety producing. It does no one any good for you to deny your natural feelings in response to this confrontation. When others suggest that you overcome the fear, they are encouraging you to get beyond the fear to realize that there is no real danger to worry about. The How of getting beyond fear is inculcated within the natural process itself. Feel it. Embrace it. And while embracing the fear, whisper ever so softly, “I’m taking you down.”

4. Take Pride in Your Scars

Because life is not easy for most of us, you most likely have some scars that you could show off. They may be in form of stories or they could be literal. Either way, they are reminders of your resilience and the lessons you have learned along the way. I want to also encourage you that they are lessons for those who both want to achieve as you have and those who need an example of how to take pride in their scars. You presentation of your process can be a source of inspiration for others. I’m okay with hiding them in general, but be well aware of how they may be used sustainably.

5. See Your Worth

I spent some time looking up borderline and narcissistic personality disorders this week in response to some of the rhetoric around positivity and pride movements. Some have argued that all this talk about “you can do anything,” and “believe in yourself,” and “you are beautiful” is resulting in humans who are selfish, egotistical, entitled, and intolerant. From body positive to participation trophies, some argue, we are giving the impression that there is no definitive standard. We are promoting the idea that you should be celebrated just for showing up. Though I have recognized a great swath of selfish, egotistical, entitled, and intolerant humans sliding their knuckles across the planet, I believe it is an indication of the opposite of seeing your worth.

When you recognize your worth, you are not reliant on anyone else to define that worth for you. This reality allows you to withhold judgement on others. It allows you to engage authentically regardless of what the other gives you in response. And, key to the differences I found in narcissistic personality disorders, you can encourage the other’s expression even in the context of standards, tradition, and the status quo. You ask questions about new information and seek innovation. Your way is the best you know right now, but you welcome a discussion of another way. Knowing your worth encourages you to continue in the discussion–a discussion about change and possibility, not just a confirmation about your desire to win.

Dr. Michael A. Wright received his Doctor of Philosophy in Social Work degree from the University of South Carolina - Columbia. Since 1997, Wright has led MAWMedia Group, LLC, a firm helping individuals and organizations tell stories and translate ideas into capital.