MAWMonday Motivators 11/06/2016

by: Dr. Michael A. Wright In Blog, Coaching DiaryTagged , , , ,

GlassesThe experience of clarity is empowering and rejuvenating, and also sobering and cautionary. I believe it is the reason we look forward to vacations. But, it is also responsible for the energy drain we feel upon returning from a vacation. You realize that you have the power to choose, but you also realize that you may have spent too much time choosing what does not make you happy.

This week, I want to remind you to seek moments of clarity in your daily life. Write down your insights. Make the choices that invest in your long-term happiness AND your immediate experience of joy. Twitter, as always, provides a great springboard or a great emphasis depending on your perspective.

1. Set Priorities and Get to Work
If you are like many, you are prone and primed to “get started.” You are perennially looking for that new reason to “get to work,” to “make it happen,” to “stop procrastinating,” to “overcome your fear.” I often write about these because they are in the way of your action and progress. But, in all your priorities and getting to work, I remind you today that these are most sustainably an outpouring of your interests, you joys, and your core desires. Of course, you will have to accomplish and overcome things that are not pleasant, but your core conviction and central definition of self must be validated with each activity. You must search out and confirm what really matters for YOU before launching into action. You must know what will satisfy you so that you know when you have arrived at your destination. Without this knowledge, you will miss the beauty available to you along your journey. And, that’s the true goal: to construct a journey that has more joy and growth than work and sacrifice.

2. Recognize the Lie
In this life you will have suffering, but you must stay vigilant to distinguish between an experience of hardship leading to fulfilling experience and a life of suffering. “No pain, no gain” has convinced us of the need for pain. “No excuses” has robbed us of reflection skills. “Work hard” has reduced our existence to drudgery and the grind. The full story is that hurt gives way to healing, excuses give way to corrective action, hard work gives way to smart work. You are preparing a better life for those that you influence and for those who come after you. But, you are not destined nor doomed to live in uncertainty and the dull ache of dissatisfaction. These are not necessary payment for your success. Recognize the lie of poverty and ahedonia. Keep moving out the dark corridors of pain, excuses, and hardness toward positive results and light.

3. Make the Choice to Prioritize What Matters
And in all your results, include an accounting of relationships. You have heard that it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. It has been expanded, …not who you know, but who knows you. You may have read that I expanded it further, …not who knows you, but who is willing to risk their reputation to build yours. It is reciprocal when it is at its best. That is, who are you willing to risk for, and who do you know is willing to risk for you?

It may begin with investment and positive regard, but it grows through interaction, shared vision, and intentionally-crossing paths. Start with those closest to you, those you would lay your life down for. Expand to those you would give an organ to heal. Include those you would take a loss to protect. Realize that these relationships define who you are. Not the requirement of the return from them, but your commitment to engage with them and the joy you have in generously giving your contribution.

4. Appreciate Moments Before They Become Memories
You know life is short. If you have not experienced this truth, you will. How often do you stop and just enjoy the moment? Do it now! Take a moment and realize that you are reading. What do you smell? What are you feeling? What makes up your surroundings. This moment, right here, is special. You will not have it again in exactly this same way. Savor it before it becomes a memory.

Now, this moment. Not just about what you have to do, but about what you ARE doing. Expand in the moment to see your movement. Appreciate and honor your progress and contribution in this moment. Smile knowing that you are doing it. You have always been moving in this direction. Your journey is more joy than sadness–in this moment and with each choice moving forward.

5. Give, but not Your Choice to Live Well
Generosity is important. But, where does generosity come from? That is the million-dollar question. Generosity comes from an abundance. Surprise! It’s not an abundance of things or even an ability to give. True generosity is the overflow of an abundance of joy. What I’m getting at is that you may have positioned yourself to request joy from others. In the process, you gave them control over your joy. Giving to them usually resulted in a return for you. You are challenged when that reciprocal relationship does not operate as expected.

I suggest that you have been doing it wrong. Make your mind up even prior to giving. This means that your act of generosity is the by-product of your joy, not a chance for it. You have always been awesome, worthy, and full of potential. Your expression of that awesomeness, worth, and potential is your authentic expression of who you are. Generosity is what spills out. You have no wait time related to your experience of joy in giving. You continue in joy no matter the reaction to your generosity. I hope that is clear? Keep seeking moments to reflect until it is clear.

Dr. Michael A. Wright received his Doctor of Philosophy in Social Work degree from the University of South Carolina - Columbia. Since 1997, Wright has led MAWMedia Group, LLC, a firm helping individuals and organizations tell stories and translate ideas into capital.