This week rejection is on my mind, but also acceptance. I think back to the girl who didn’t want me in high school, the school that didn’t want me for college, the job that didn’t want me to work. Those thoughts lead me through my own struggles with sense-making, self-reflection, self-criticism, and eventual acceptance. I accepted what you must accept. You can’t be everything to everyone. But to your tribe, you are everything.
As I reflect on the acceptance (and joy) of those that make me their first choice, I encourage you to keep pressing forward. Keep learning. Keep producing. Make sense of rejection. Process your self-reflection and self-criticism. Then, accept that you can only be you. AND to yours, you are enough!
1. Find Your People
More than just a statement to make you feel better in the moment. Beyond the need to disparage some person or group that did not choose you. Recognize that life is about fit, vibration, and complement.
Think of fit like a puzzle you are putting together. Sometimes the colors seem continuous, the scene appears to be coming together, but the pieces just don’t fit. Why would we spend time worrying over it? Find the piece that does fit. Think of vibration like voices singing. You have to match the key, the resonance, the tune, and the song. Sometimes you don’t. Find the space where your vibration contributes to make music. Think of complement like flavors to taste. It sometimes appears that you fit with the sour because you are also tart. But, some tastes are looking for balance or new tastes all together. Mix where your flavor complements the taste toward the blend your people have in mind.
— Nicolette Michele (@PersonalityFrk) November 20, 2016
2. Never Fear Rejection
A ton of work goes into the development of your project. When you run a small or one-person shop, you then have to turn around and put just as much or more energy into promotion. With so much of yourself poured into a project, it can be heart-breaking for someone to dismiss, rebuff, or turn away your product. Forget them!
Yes. Forget them! They are not your tribe. Easy! They didn’t even add value through a critique or a consideration you could use. They were not a waste of time though. They are a time saver in planning your next venture. Move on to the next prospect. No matter if it’s a hundred rejections, continue to seek and continue to develop…until you no longer have to promote yourself.
Never fear the first rejection, or the 100th. Fear the last one.
— Adi` (@ech0star) July 28, 2016
3. Learn About People
Perhaps the greatest lesson about people is a lesson about the group as a whole. Groups operate in predictable patterns. They also form sub-groups through shared experience, tastes, and patterns. Some are going to love you no matter what. They are rare and precious. I have found that their love is as immediate as it is unconditional. You never have to wait, wonder, or assume with those that love you. Some will never love you no matter what. They have their own issues and axes to grind. You will find mixed messages and moments of wonder. I can tell you now, they don’t love you.
For you, this means that you never have to convince, persuade, or run after your tribe. Your only requirement is to give them opportunities, mechanisms, and space to show their love. Know this about people. Those that love you will engage with the opportunities you provide and create ways to show love that you did not expect.
Some people are going to love you no matter what you do. And some people will never love you no matter what you do.
— Relationship ♡ (@ohteenquotes) November 25, 2016
4. Inspire through Your Strength
Let me just say, I loved this quote the moment I read it! I was so impressed that I Googled it to see what inspired scholar first penned it. Turns out, I couldn’t find an original source. It’s original to Colleen Kirkpatrick. I created a meme to immortalize it.
Whatever your station, your level, your role, your job is to be fearless. You will feel intimidation in this life. Some things are bigger than you. You have to grow to conquer them. But, never succumb to the intimidation. Keep moving forward. When it comes to people, be yourself and show them what authenticity looks like. Diminishing yourself does not promote their shine. In fact, the brighter you shine, the more inspired they and others become.
As a single parent, my job is to be fearless! Never fear rejection. Never succumb to intimidation. Never act timid so others feel strong!
— Colleen Kirkpatrick (@kirkpatrickce) July 23, 2016
5. Be a Friend
I would argue that most people don’t need a counselor, coach, or therapist. If they had a true friend, they would be just fine. If they had someone who they knew, for a fact, with all their heart, without a shadow of a doubt believed in them, they would excel beyond their own expectations.
With this knowledge, it is your task to be that friend. The best way to ensure that you can find such a person: Be that person. The beauty is that your tribe, your people, your friends will see you–truly see you–immediately and accept you wholeheartedly. You will vibe, you will rise, and you will succeed consistently, together.
— ✨Katrina White✨ (@coachmekat) November 15, 2016